NASCUM
by BusterNuts
Summary: An erotic crossover between Bayonetta and NASCAR Starring: Bayonetta and Danica Patrick


Nobody really knew how or why Bayonetta and Danica Patrick were competing against each other at the NASCAR championship and, frankly, nobody cared. They just wanted to see some totally hot babes driving big, loud, cars at a million miles an hour. So fast that their fucking clothes came off and they instantaneously had a million wet screaming orgasms. I mean, that's what they assumed would happen.

"Rodin my, darling. You've outdone yourself!" Bayonetta purred sluttily as she surveyed her racecar. It was a jet black piece of machinery adorned with gold trim and filligrie. It sported gitantic rims, an obnoxious spoiler the size of Mars, and a big fat exhaust pipe. Rodin even threw in some bat-wing fins for added panache.

"Thanks, baby. But it ain't all just good looks. You've got yourself an engine made from the souls of a thousand tormented souls straight from the blackest pits of hell. Not even Satan could make a faster machine."

"You know this from experience, eh?" Bayonetta said, sluttily.

"You know it. Now listen, this ain't your run-of-the-mill hellcar. There's a few extra, shall we say, enhancements."

Bayonetta raised an eyebrow in curious, slutty, expectation.

"Now as you know, NASCAR is all about turning left, so I took the liberty of installing a special device that'll build up some extra boost power every time you make a turn. When you're ready, hit the big red button for a blast of speed!"

"Mmm, that sounds right up my alley, darling. Hurry up and strap me in! I'm just dripping with excitement to get this race started!"

Bayonetta jumped, sluttily, into her jet black hellcar and began to strap in. "Hey Rodin, what's this for?" She said sluttily, holding up a hefty metallic phallus.

"That's the special device I was talking about, heh heh heh. Just slide it between your legs and let the car do the rest." Rodin replied with a wry grin.

"Mmmm, I'm beginning to like this racing thing already!" She purred as she secured the device inside her slutty vagina.

Meanwhile, Danica Patrick was looking over her car. It was pink and white and had sparkles and flowers all over it.

"OMG! It's, like, so pretty!" She squealed.

"I knew you'd like it," her father repied, "get inside, there's a surprise."

"Yay! I love surprises!" She launched herself into the car and looked around. Her eyes widened, "Oooooh! It smells like STRAWBERRIES!"

"I knew you'd like it! Now, I know you're used to them indy cars and all, so this'll be a bit different but I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"It'll be a piece of cake! All I gotta do is, like, go straight and turn left and stuff! I'll show that nerd lady with the glasses who's boss!"

"Atta girl! Now hurry up, the race gon' start soon."

The two women drove their cars to the starting line and began to rev their engines. Bayonetta's demonic engine issued forth a noise like that of a damned souls screaming in agony. Danica's was higher pitched, like the whinnie of a majestic unicorn or a pony.

"I'm going to wipe the floor with you!" Bayonetta shouted sluttily at her opponent.

"Like, whatever! I'm the one that's gonna cross the finish line first! You're just like some nerd with glasses and stuff!"

"I'll make you eat those words, child!"

Their engines roared harder and louder as their temperes flared, which began to work the crowd into a frenzy. Moments later the stadium's loudspeakers buzzed to life and the announcer spoke. "Ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for the world's sexiest, craziest, most exciting race ever to grace NASCAR history?!"

The crowd responded by yelling, screaming, whistling, clapping, and making as much noise as they possibly could. The announcer took this to mean 'yes.'

"Well, then don't let me keep you waiting! Ladies, are you and your cars all set to go?" Both women revved their engines one last time and gave a thumbs up. "Well, all right then! On your mark! Get set! GOOOOOOOO!" The announcer screamed at the top of his lungs as the two women's cars sped away.

Bayonetta's car, powered by pure evil and the blood of a thousand innicent babies, lept sluttily off the starting line with a hellish roar, surging ahead of her opponent. "Ta ta, darling!" Bayonetta yelled into the intercom as Danica's pink atrocity withered away in her rear view mirror.

"Hmph!" Danica said, "Typical rookie mistake to not, like, pace yourself. We'll see who's ahead in a couple hundred laps. If I can even count that high!" This was all just as well to Danica, her seasoned racing instincts would give her a bigger edge than Bayonetta's raw power ever could.

This was true because Bayonetta, being a total slut and a woman, couldn't drive for shit. Also she was wearing her rediculous gun shoes and they made it kind of hard to work the pedals.

Soon, the first corner approached and Bayonetta gripped the wheel tightly. She lined up her car on the outside edge and tried to aim for the apex of the corner but she miscalculated and had to over-break (sluttily) to compensate. "Shit! That little slut!" She screamed as Danica flew by her at a million miles an hour, setting the crowd roaring with excitement.

This was soon driven from her mind, though, as the turbo device nestled betwixt her thighs sprang to life. It throbbed and vibrated, sending shivers down Bayonetta's spine. Her slutty vagina began secreting slutty vaginal fluids, which the device eagerly began to absorb. "Mmmm, well, this could make losing not such a bad thing after all. Still, I'm going to teach that prissy little bitch a thing or two!" Bayonetta mashed both gunfeet into the gas pedal and the car roared ahead.

Bayonetta was riding Danica's rear-end in the next corner as they both braked hard to enter the turn. Bayonetta's car just barely nudged the rear of Danica's, and Danica gave a little yelp in excitement. "Mmm, you like it from behind, do you?" Bayonetta said over the intercom.

"Like I'd, like, like something that dirty!" Came her answer.

"Oh, it hurts the first time, but soon you'll get used to it. Just grin and BEAR IT!" Bayonetta said as she mashed the gas pedal and sent her car careening into Danica's.

"Aieeee!" She screamed as her car spun out of control. The crowd began to roar and cheer, working up to a mild froth.

"Ta-ta, darling!" Bayonetta sneered sluttily as she sped past Danica. Danica soon got her car under control, saved by her expert racing abilities. "Tsch! I'll just have to try harder next ti-unnggghh." Bayonetta moaned sluttily as she went through the next corner and the boost device worked its magic.

Within the next few laps, Danica had caught up to Bayonetta. "Damn, she's good," Bayonetta thought as she squeezed her slutty thighs tightly together and stifled a moan. She had entered another turn.

"Damn, your ass is, like all huge and gross!" Danica said over the intercom as she brought her car up behind Bayonetta's.

"You watch your tone, young lady! This body has been perfected by countless ages of whipping insolent whelps like yourself!" If she weren't in her car she would have struck a slutty pose, but she made do with gunning her car's throttle instead. The engine screamed and the car lept forward.

"Ha! Maybe you should have like spent some more time behind the wheel and stuff!" Danica taunted. Bayonetta's reckless maneuver had caused her to miscalculate the next turn and both cars were now neck and neck. Bayonetta's black hellcar on the inside and Danica's pink pastry on the outside. The crowd went apeshit, cheering and screaming and frothing at the mouth.

"Oh, you naughty little thing! I'll show you!" Bayonetta said as she sluttily straightened the car out. She flicked open the safety cover on the turbo button and mashed her fist down.

The device between her legs throbbed violently as the car built up an enormous amount of power under its hood. It released it in one gigantic burst, spraying Bayonetta's secretions out of the car's gigantic tailpipe and all over the track and Danica's windshield. The car surged ahead at a billion miles an hour and, to Bayonetta's slutty disbelief, even started driving itself around the corners.

Danica, her windshield covered in Bayonetta's vaginal secretions, lost control of her car and spun out. The crowd went even wilder than before, if that was even possible. Foaming at the mouth, they all yelled and screamed and cheered and stamped their feet.

Bayonetta had almost lapped Danica before the turbo boost ran off. "Ha! That ought to show the little slu-nngh!" Bayonetta grunted as she tried to steer the car. She had hit the spot in the track where she activated the turbo boost and had started to lose control in her own slutty secretions. Time slowed down.

She could see Danica's pink car dead ahead. She could see Danica's deer-in-the-headlight eyes, her beautiful eyes, as Bayonetta desperately spun the wheel trying to avoid the impending disaster. How had she'd never noticed how beautiful Danica was? Her wavy black hair, her toned athlete's physique.

Her boobs.

Her booby boobish boobs.

So perfectly boob-like and boobly. It was as if the boob of God had cast itself, twice in perfect boobification, on Danica's chest.

Bayonetta snapped out of her slutty trance as she made a last minute correction. It was for naught, though, as her jet black car slammed head on into Danica's. The force of the impact was so strong that both women were lanuched through the windshield, landing together in a crumpled heap atop their wrecked cars. Bayonetta's car left a long slick of innocent baby blood all over the track while Danica's simply caught fire.

The crowd, on witnessing this spectacle, was now on the edge of insanity. People had fallen down in seizures, small children had instantaneously transformed into full-grown men with raging hardons. Several women gave birth.

"Oh my God! Ladies and gentlemen, what an upset! We're not even ten laps into the race yet and both ladies have crashed! I hope they're all right!" The announcer said.

"Mmmm," Danica moaned as she stirred atop Bayonetta's soft, supple body. Her helmet had mysteriously come off shortly after the crash, spilling her jet black hair everywhere. Bayonetta, roused by Danica's movements, sat upright causing Danica's head to fall into her lap. She removed her helmet, causing her own hair to cascade down her slutty body and mingle with Danica's.

Danica looked up and they locked eyes. Right then and there, with no words between them, they pressed their lips together atop the now burning remains of their cars. Danica came instantly with a shudder. Bayonetta's magical slut hair clothing disappeared, but not before turning into a scythe which cut Danica's racing suit off her.

Naked, they both began making out and frigging right there in the middle of the stadium.

"My God, ladies and gentlemen! We haven't seen this kind of action since the 2002 Daytona 500 when Elliot Sadler started buttfucking Bobby Hamilton!" The announcer said. The crowd had gone past the point of no return. People started having spontaneous orgasms left and right, and several dicks exploded.

"Mmmmm, my, my." Bayontetta said at last, after she and Danica had had their fill of screwing their slutty brains out, "Looks like coming second wasn't so bad after all!"

Danica just giggled like a fucking idiot.


End file.
